Finally found the courage to share this post. I had written over a year ago but just could never bring myself to post it. Remembering these incidents always brings shivers to my spine.
The 1st incident happened on the day of Eid in 2017. About the same time we got his Autism diagnosis.
We had gone to the mosque to pray Eid prayer in New York. I made sure he was close to me the entire time and I was very careful as expected because it was a crowded place. We had finished praying and his sister came to me for my attention. She was already giving me that look that said “Why is Khalil getting all the attention?”
She was just four-years old at that time. I felt guilty and went to her and thought let me give her a few minutes. I immediately let him go while I watched closely as he ran playfully back and forth in front of me. I turned my attention to respond to something his sister said the next minute he was heading for the streets. I panicked and called out his name and just then someone that was standing close to the street grabbed him just in time as a car was heading down the street. He was too small to understand anything. I was terrified. I made sure I carried him in my arms until we left the mosque.
Then the following year 2018, this same Eid we were back in Praia and thought maybe things may have been different this time. He was a bit older now. The mosque we went to pray was situated on the outskirts of the city. And it was close to the highway. It was my first time going to that particular mosque so I had no idea how the neighbourhood would be.
I was glad to see some familiar faces at the mosque. One of the ladies was not praying with us because she was off-salat and was seated at the entrance, I decided to put Khalil in her care so she can watch him and make sure he doesn’t wander off.
The women’s section of the mosque was upstairs. We were seated on the balcony with our praying mats waiting for prayers to commence. Knowing someone was watching him I immediately became relaxed and was having a conversation with my fellow Muslim sisters when I looked out and saw my boy downstairs heading to the high road again!!! He was already about to cross the road when I screamed his name out through my lungs.
I must have lost my voice that day.
Immediately he heard his name he stopped and turned around.
I didnt understand what’s with autistic children and running into the streets at that time!
What amazed me was how he snuck past the lady sitting on the staircase, passed the men downstairs and no one noticed him until they heard me screaming like a mad woman from the balcony.
A bystander got him and brought him back to me.
I had brought along with me a long thin scarf just in case, so I used it to tie my wrist to his own like a leash. I couldn’t even pray or concentrate when prayers started. I did not loosen him until we were safe in the car on our way back home.
There and then I told myself no more Eid with Khalil until he understands safety and danger. Maybe this was a sign.
Once bitten twice shy they say.
After all, it’s not like it is compulsory for me as a woman to go to the mosque.
I just miss the feeling of togetherness and community, especially living in a foreign country with a small Muslim community, going to the mosque for Eid is something I look forward to as a means of meeting fellow Muslims and socializing. It’s a lonely world out here but I had to sacrifice all of that.
I took a four years break from going to Eid because there was no one to watch them at home. This was why when we finally took him for Eid this year during Eid il Fitr I was so happy and relieved that we are getting somewhere.
These are just a few of the many incidents we have had in the past, especially with my son and we are still not completely out of the woods, but it’s getting better.
Sharing this with the hope that it may help parents with little kids especially those with pre/nonverbal autistic children. A lot of our children with ASD have little to no sense of danger and have high tendencies to elope.
Lets try to do our best to keep our children safe especially during the celebrations.
I pray that God Almighty continues to guide and keep our children safe no matter where they are. Amin.
If you find this helpful, please share it with other parents who may need it.
Eid Mubarak in Advance.
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