Rejection is one very common thing that parents with special needs children experience a lot. Especially when it comes to finding the right school for your child.
For some schools, it is due to the lack of awareness and information about the conditions of these children. For some, it may be because they do not have the necessary skills or expertise to care for them. For some, it is just hard-core ignorance.
We have had our share of experiences in the past.
I remember when I travelled with my Autistic Son While I was pregnant with my now 3-year-old daughter in 2019. Upon arrival, I started hunting for a nearby day-care to put him in so I could easily go to my hospital for appointments.
I would walk miles around the neighborhood following day-care suggestions near me from Google. My son was 4 years old at that time (almost 5).
As soon as we would arrive at any of the day-cares, he would start throwing tantrums and this would automatically get us turned down. Some won’t even let us look around because of the noise he was making. Search after a search I was almost giving up.
One particular day I walked until my feet turned sore. The pregnancy hormones made it worse. It wasn’t easy taking him with me to my hospital appointments. I had to buy a leash at some point to cuff our hands together but it still wasn’t helpful. I was always full of waterworks after every rejection until one day I got a lead on one day-care not too far from where I was staying.
We arrived there with my son for the first time, and he did not throw any tantrums or meltdown. The moment they opened their door he just ran straight inside and made himself comfortable.
That was the first thing that fascinated me. I later found out that the lady that runs the day-care was a certified ABA specialist. Together with her Nigerian husband, they were really warm, friendly, and nice.
I ended up getting the best day-care for him after all. They even offered to pick him up and drop him at home for free due to my pregnancy condition. They were extremely nice. It was while working with her that we got our first-ever request sentence “I WANT…”
Two weeks ago, I had another experience when I tried to enroll him in a holiday activity group. After just one day, they complained that they could not have him touching and taking books from their shelves and that he made too much noise when he screamed and cried in order to get whatever he wanted.
So we went back home because they couldn’t understand and accept that part of him. He is attracted to books. He loves to hold books. There was something about carrying books and just observing that made him feel comfortable and SAFE. But they couldn’t accept him behaving like that.
To be honest, I felt hurt. I thought I was past that stage of feeling down in such situations but apparently, I wasn’t. As always, I let my emotions out, I picked my lessons from what happened and reminded myself about all the great things we have achieved so far on this Autism journey.
If your child was rejected for whichever one of the above reasons, it is perfectly normal to feel whatever it is that you feel. There is no need to beat yourself up so badly about it. You can choose to look at it from these other angles.
Rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
What if your child is admitted and ends up being ignored and excluded from school?
What if the school ends up inflicting mental and emotional trauma on your child?
Or worse, to be constantly bullied. Anyone would rather his or her child remain at home than in the care of people who do not know how to care for such a child.
It could also be that God wants you to re-evaluate what you are currently doing with your child and try a different strategy altogether.
So how can you turn that rejection into strength?
Remember all the little wins that you have achieved so far. Nobody knows how far you have come on this journey but you.
Hang in there momma, because The best is yet to come In shaa Allah.
Have you ever experienced Rejection with your Adorable?
How did you handle it?
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